Does talking about money make you anxious? You’re not alone. A lot of people have a difficult time talking about money. It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a friend, a family member, partner, or spouse. Conversations around money always seem to bring out fear and worry in us. Let’s explore some of the reasons for this.
Shame about money
A major reason that talking about money might make you anxious is that you have some shame around money. There are a lot of reasons that you might experience shame about money.
It’s common that someone who is the sole provider for their family will experience shame when they struggle to make ends meet. This is especially true for parents. Parents want to provide a great life to their children. Most parents want to give their children all the things they didn’t have. This can lead to feeling shame around money when they’re unable to do so.
We also live in a society that pushes a toxic masculinity. Many of us grow up learning that it’s shameful to need help or ask for help. There are a lot of people who qualify for food assistance programs but never apply because of shame. Sadly, another reason people don’t seek assistance when needed is that their is frequent harassment and belittlement by other customers when using EBT cards in grocery stores. This attitude only amplifies the shame around money that people experience.
Shame about or resistance to receiving money are the largest blocks to manifesting abundance. Money is energy and there are many ways that we can receive it. When we allow shame about receiving money, whether it’s payment for our time and energy or a gift, we cut off the flow of money and blessings in our life.
Embarrassed by debt or not having money
Sometimes money can be embarrassing. We’re conditioned from an early age to feel embarrassed when we don’t have money. Everyone who’s experienced having a credit card declined, even by mistake, has likely felt some embarrassment from it.
This embarrassment around not having money often pressures people to take actions they know aren’t wise. They may take frantic action or look to shady businesses like payday loans to try to alleviate the discomfort and embarrassment.
Debt can also create embarrassment. When someone takes on too much debt it can create a situation where all their money is going to paying interest. They might struggle to pay bills and keep up with all their debt payments. There’s no reason to be embarrassed by debt. The truth is that we don’t educate people on how to properly utilize debt.
In some ways, that in intentional. Companies benefit from people taking on too much debt or exploitive debt products. Marketing is used to encourage people to use debt to buy things they don’t need or want with money they don’t have. Being embarrassed by debt often prevents them from getting help and realigning their money mindset.
It’s easy to get defensive about money
No one wants to admit that they haven’t been a good steward of their money. When someone else wants to talk about money, it can bring up this embarrassment and shame. In response, we become defensive. We feel like we’re being attacked.
Being defensive about money, debt or spending can complicate talking about money. One of the major reasons that couples fight is money. Defensiveness makes this worse because the person who is feeling attacked often shuts down.
You might be suffering from a scarcity mindset
You might be struggling with embarrassment, shame or being defensive about money because you’ve developed a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset, also called poverty consciousness, is marked by a series of false beliefs that impact how you experience abundance in your life.
Some of the hallmarks of a scarcity mindset include the belief that there’s not enough. If you feel that someone else has to do without for you to have money or abundance, it’s going to affect how you feel about having or receiving money.
Another frequent scarcity myth is that more is better. If you believe this, you might be tempted to “stock up” in case you don’t have money to buy things when you need them. Taken to far, this belief can even lead to hording.
You can learn more about scarcity mindset and its impact in this article.
Healing your money mindset
Experiencing shame, embarrassment, defensives, stress, or anxiety about money is a clear sign that you have some work to do. There are a lot of spiritual tools that can help you heal your money mindset and manifest abundance with ease.
The first step is to understand the nature of money and the nature of reality. You’ll also want to work on calming your nervous system and balancing your root chakra. You can’t manifest abundance from a stressed out and anxious state! Next, use journalling as a tool to really dig into your beliefs and attitudes around money. You’ll be surprised by what you learn and the ways that you may be sabotaging your own abundance.
Need some help getting started? Schedule a clarity call with me and let’s explore your money story.
The importance of talking about money
I cannot stress how important it is that we, as a collective, learn how to talk about money without all the anxiety, shame, and embarrassment that it brings up. When we’re able to talk openly about our money mindset, limiting beliefs and learned patterns, it’s easier to heal how we feel about and manage money. After all, Source (god, goddess or whatever else you call your higher power) expects us to be good stewards of our abundance. We can’t do that if we’re bogged down with shame and anxiety about it. So, let’s talk about it more and more openly.
I have more articles and resources on abundance and money that you can read.