Episode Summary & Key Talking Points
A lot of us like money, maybe even love money, but none of us seem to ever want to talk about money… and this leaves us at a massive disadvantage.
Let’s talk about your money story because it could be the very thing that’s resisting your efforts to create wealth and abundance with ease. It’s time to break free of the script that you’ve written yourself into and reassess those subconscious money beliefs that are simply not serving you.
Key Talking Points:
Your money story is not yours alone, it’s a group effort
Why the money books you’ve been reading aren’t working
Where your money story originates
How my personal money story began and what I’ve done to rewrite it
Differentiating the story you’ve lived and the story you’ve written
The limitations that your money story can bring
Recognizing your own money story
Rewriting your money story through awareness, and mindfulness.
The first step is always awareness. Take my Money Mindset Quiz to learn about your personal money blocks: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6303c64325b1e80018d4565d
Visit my website: https://www.priestofinanna.com/
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Listen to the Episode
Julian Crosson-Hill 00:15
This is the answer your unique calling podcast. This podcast provides tips, tools and inspiring stories for creating clarity around your calling, opening your heart to infinite possibilities and enabling you to have the greatest impact on the world. I'm Julian Crosson-Hill, a certified spiritual life coach, meditation teacher, Human Design Specialist and founder of Priest of Inanna. And most recently, I've joined the faculty at star seed Academy coach training. It's my mission to teach and guide others around living a spiritually aligned life that answers their unique calling. Welcome, and thanks for listening.
Hello, I'm your host, Julian Crosson-Hill. And let's get right into today's subject, I'm going to be talking about money. And I think a lot of us like money, maybe even love money. But none of us seem to ever want to talk about money. And so specifically, what I want to talk about today, in terms of money, is your money story.
And let me explain a little bit about what I mean by money story. So, your money story is part of your personal narrative about money. And your personal narrative, if you're not familiar with that term, or you don't know what your personal narrative is, or you've never really thought about having a personal narrative, for instance. Your personal narrative is that voice that constantly repeats in your head, and it tells you a story. It's telling you a story about who you are. It's telling you a story about the world and the way it works.
And so, your money story, your personal narrative around money is all the things that you believe. think and feel about money. And these things sort of play in a loop in our subconscious. In our mind, sometimes it's not so subconscious, right, we talk to ourselves, and that talk isn't always as positive as we would like it to be. It's sometimes very critical and very judgmental. And these are things that can really have a powerful impact on us and a powerful impact on what we're creating.
So, our money story, we don't write it by ourselves. And I think that's sort of an interesting thing to think about. Because I think a lot of us think that we create our own personal narratives, that we develop our own thoughts and opinions and beliefs. But really, when it comes to our money story, there's a lot of people who contribute to it. So, it's kind of like a group effort.
And we learn a lot about our money story, as children from our parents, for instance, and from our family, from our friends, from the society and the culture that we grow up. And all of these things really inform our money story.
And then, of course, we get out in the world with the money story that doesn't really equip us to handle money well, or to manifest abundance with the ease that we would like. And we have some difficult experiences with money and abundance. And those difficult experiences, those past experiences then inform our money narrative or money story.
And so, before we know it, we've built up this big, huge script, about money and about abundance, and we're constantly sort of playing a role. And that script is running in our subconscious, almost like some kind of computer program. And it's sort of affecting how we feel about money, how we talk about money, how we show up what we're being when we think about money, all the things, the ways that we manage our money, all of it.
And so, I want to sort of dig into that a little bit today and really talk about, like, give you some examples from my own personal money story, both before I rewrote it, and after I've rewritten it, and show you just how some of these things come to be in your money story. How our parents and our friends and our families and all of the various influences affect your money story, which in a lot of ways is also what we talk about in human design as conditioning, right? All the things that pull us away from our core. And there's definitely a lot of ways that many of us get pulled away from our core when it comes to money.
So, I'm going to start by talking about my own parents and my own upbringing around money because I think that this has really informed my own money story in my life. And this is, and these pieces of my money story are the parts that I'm really working to rewrite and have been working to rewrite because once I sort of became aware of it, it was kind of like a oh shit moment like I really realized the ways that I was sort of running this program in my own life. And the ways that my parents' attitudes and feelings and thoughts about money were getting in the way of me creating the ease and flow and abundance in my life that I really desired.
So, when I was growing up, my parents didn't have a lot of money. But we weren't really poor, either. You know, we were pretty, pretty average middle class, sometimes we struggled. And sometimes we had plenty. And my father started his own business and became an entrepreneur.
ou know, when his business first started, it really took a little while before the money started to flow. For him, it was very sporadic, my father works in a highly technical field. So he would do these projects, where he was working on this project for maybe a month to six months, and then, you know, they were for big corporations. So these projects will get paid, you know, 30 to 90 days later. And so that always caused sort of a lot of ups and downs in my parents' money flow.
And I think that in my own money story, one of the things that I took away from that is that it takes time to build a business and to create that consistent flow. And I've certainly experienced that in my business. So that's certainly an area that recently, as I've become more aware of, I've been rewriting so that I can see flow and ease more easily in my business. And earlier, you know, I don't have to and you don't have to wait. You don't have to be in business for years and years and years to create that flow for yourself. But I had believed that that was required, because that's what my father's experience was. That's what I knew about starting a business and having that money flow.
My father also had a very elitist attitude about money. He used to tell us as children that you know, people who had basically the rules didn't apply to people that had money, if you had money, things didn't apply to you, and that you wanted to have a lot of money in life, because then life would be easier for you.
And I think the opposite of that is kind of what ends up ingrained in your money story, when you're exposed to something like that, you start to think that if you don't have a lot of money, somehow you're less valuable or less worthy, or that limitations apply to you that maybe don't apply to everyone else. Because you start to think that, you know, obviously, if money means that life is easier for you, then that means if you don't have very much money, that life has to be hard, right. And life doesn't have to be hard. We know that life doesn't have to be hard.
And I think that this is one of the things that I sort of rewrote in my money story early on, I became aware of the sort of elitism around money fairly early on in my process of really examining this, and started to sort of rewrite this and really rethink how I felt about things like poverty, and people who had less money than, than I did. And I've been very fortunate after a 25 year career in software engineering. My husband and I are very blessed. We enjoy a good quality of life, as a result of that career that I had.
I think though, the biggest part of my money story that I want to talk about, I learned from my mother. And my mother and I were very, very close. I've been estranged from my father for many years. And my mother passed away in 2013. And one of the, one of the parts of my money story that I think I struggled with the most particularly as I started to make this transition into being a spiritual life coach and an entrepreneur is the idea that money limits you. The idea that you have to do things that you don't want to do, if you have money to stay in jobs you don't like you'd stay in relationships you don't like I think a lot of people experience money as a limitation.
And I know in my coaching practice, talking to people about their spiritual calling, and what they really want to do with their lives and how they want to show up in service to spirit and who they want to be. Ultimately, the thing that often comes up as the limit for them that prevents them from doing this thing that they've said is in their heart that they feel called at a soul level to do is money.
And I think one thing that really illustrated the idea of money as limitation for me was when I was in the fifth grade. My parents separated and my parents fought all the time. I know a lot of children, you know,
for a lot of children, divorces are very traumatic, and separations are very traumatic. My parents were ill suited. My mother got married at a very young age to escape a religious home. My grandmother was very religious, Pentecostal and very controlling. And so, and also very, like emotionally abusive, and my mother married at a young age to escape that. And so, it was my father was just sort of the guy that was her ticket away from her bad situation at home. And so, I think that my parents were really ill matched. And they argued all the time, about money about, about silly stuff, really not just money, they argued about everything. And they were so totally different people.
And so, in fifth grade, my parents separated. My grandfather, on my mother's side showed up, and we kids piled in with my grandfather, and my mother moved across country to Ohio. And for a while, we stayed with my grandparents. And then we stayed with my aunt, my mother's sister. And then my mother got her own apartment as school started.
And she really struggled, my mother had a high school education, but she had always stayed home to raise the kids. And so, she didn't have any career to speak of. So, she was working in shoes at a department store, you know, doing retail and things were very tight financially.
And I remember one night after school, and my mother's work, we had gone to the grocery, and we came home to the apartment. And as we were unloading the groceries, my mother dropped the milk in the parking lot, and the container cracked open, and the milk started to pour out into the parking lot. And she grabbed it up and ran into the apartment and tried to save as much of the milk as she could in a pitcher. And then she sat down and started crying. And I remember just feeling so helpless about that situation, because buying another dollar gallon of milk was going to be a hardship for her in her situation. And so, she was very upset about an accident, about dropping the milk.
And it was only about a month after that, that my father showed up. And we all piled in and went back to Arizona and my parents stayed together until they divorced when I was in college. And that was what really made, for me, part of my money story be about the ways that money limits you about the ways that you can't have the happiness that you want, if you don't have the money to do it. The ways that you have to make decisions that you don't want or put up with things that don't make you happy in order to have money.
And for a long time in my life, that played a big part in my money story. I stayed at jobs that I absolutely hated. Because until I found another job, I couldn't leave that job because of the money. I worked in the software industry for many, many years longer than I wanted to. I stayed at companies that didn't really align with my values much longer than I should have. And all of these things were based on needing to have another job or another source of income in place, because otherwise, you know, there's not going to be money and all these terrible things are going to happen.
And so, it was constraining my flow of money, believing that there was this sense of limitation and of obligation that you had to do these things that you didn't want to do. Because you needed the money because money was going to limit you. And that rewriting that part of my money story has been an ongoing process. And it's rewriting your money story once you sort of get in and find out what's in your money story. And I encourage you to do this activity of really asking yourself, what do I think about money? How do I feel about money? How did my parents feel about money? What kinds of things did they say about money? Because all of that is going to be contained in your money story.
Julian Crosson-Hill 14:13
And then once you're really aware of your money story, you can start looking at your circumstances and saying to yourself, where is this showing up in my life? How is this showing up? How is my money story affecting what I'm experiencing in terms of my money? Because for me, it was really eye opening to realize all the ways that the story that I had grown up with about money was impacting my life.
And then comes the really hard work, right? We roll up our sleeves and we start to rewrite that money story. And it doesn't happen overnight. We have to really become mindful of what that sort of voice in the back of our head is telling us about situations particularly when it comes to money. And, we have to start to reprogram it, we have to start to think differently, we have to start to challenge those things when we hear that voice in our head and say that's not true. Here's the truth. And we have to sort of practice that. And it's sort of like the layers of an onion, you peel back a layer, and you start to rewrite that and you get you move forward. And then you find all the things that were under that layer, and you have to start rewriting them. And it's very hard work. But it's also very rewarding work, because no other thing is really going to move us forward into the abundance that we want, then getting rid of all the mental gunk that is underneath, in our money story.
And this is why so many people read books, book after book after book on manifesting money and manifesting abundance and feel frustrated that they can't make it happen because none of those books are addressing the elephant in the room. And that is what is the mindset, the thoughts and the beliefs and the feelings about money that are underneath all of this. None of those books, they tell you, you know, think positive thoughts and sort of surface level talk about this mindset stuff, but they don't really dig in and say what is the script that you're running around your money and abundance that you learned from your parents, your family, society, all of these things, and you have to rewrite that before you can ever really be successful at manifesting money and abundance in your life. So do yourself a favor and really dig in and become aware of your money story because without taking that first step of being aware of it, you're never going to be able to rewrite it and move forward in the way that you want.
This had been the Answer Your Unique Calling podcast with your host Julian Crosson-Hill, produced by Priest of Inanna LLC. You can find us on priestofinanna.com. That's Priest of Inanna: i-n-a-n-n-a.com or on Instagram at Priest of Inanna